Trusting issues ........

“So often times it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key.” ~The Eagles, “Already Gone”

So often we decide to make our lives better by changing the way we think about things. However, it is equally important to act in the new way as well. Only then can we really change.

This comes from my own experience. Ive been trying to change my mindset about people around me. At home, in my childhood, the constant worry was that ppl around all take advantage of you, you cant trust ppl & things like that. Now, i realise its not true. By holding these thoughts i am not giving others a chance to show me their good side, the one i can trust & open myself to. So i changed my mind (atleast I thought so!!)yet continued to believe hence act as though the world is a tough place, lacking in trust. Naturally, i was dissappointed & very confused.

It took a 3 year old to make me realise my mistake. When she wants a drink of water & i hold the glass to her lips, she trusts me & her hands are by her side. Now, had i been in her place, i would also place my hand on the glass, coz im not trusting the person to hold the glass correctly. In such small matters if i cant trust, how the hell will i allow others to do things in a trusting, loving manner.

Its tough on yourself. Expectations when combined with trust is such a beautiful thing. We deserve to be trusted yet we hesitate to bestow it on others. Im not talking about being naive, just simply allowing the goodness in ourself to be reflected by others.

And thats the challenge

Sleeping woes……. Zzzzzz ???

Insomnia.
At times just the mention of this word is enough to traumatize people who have grappled with this condition. Sleep related issues seem to go hand in hand with our urban curry, hurry, worry lifestyle. Infact, it certainly is a condition created by our city life. Wrong dietary habits, lack of exercise, absence of a sleep routine & stress all contribute to sleep disorders. But at the root lies our thinking – the lack of faith.

Last night as I lay awake in bed, listening to the family gossip, I wondered for the nth time why cant I sleep. I lead a what seems to be healthy lifestyle. Eating sensibly, exercise regularly, work comfortably and enjoy a abundant life. Yet, here I am – AWAKE!! Infact, just thinking that I do all the “right things” yet “suffer” just makes it worse. Finally, I did drift off, thanks to some abdominal breathing, only to awaken at 3 am!!

Now, just so that u know, ive had insomnia couple of years back for almost a year. Thinking, thinking … useless, mundane thoughts over & over. It was frustrating & so very very tiring. I have feared it & hating myself to let a condition create such havoc in my life. What really got me was the question WHY. I had tried all traditional methods – warm baths, soothing music, chamomile teas, sleeping pills, pranayamas –though relieved symptom for a while, nothing restored sleep regularity. I was quite a mess. Went for counseling to experienced professional, yet remained clueless.

One early morning as I lay awake in bed, too tired to think it, something said don’t worry, everythings gonna be alright. It felt right, I just listened to that voice & that was it. Ive slept better that night & it did get better after a while. Nowadays I enjoy undisturbed, restoring sleep.

Then there was last night. So, I lay there wondering what am I worrying abt. The inside me said that, ok, look here buddy I had to make this wake up call coz u weren’t listening to me. You forced me to wake you to get your attention. You haven’t been thinking straight, going back to your old ways of distructive behavior. Be clear what you want & it will come to you. Your doing what seems right by others but is it really what you want?? Your trying to fit in, rather than creating you world.

As usual, this inside me was right. My new years resolution was to listen to me first. Just 18 days and I had slipped up. Well, for the first time I was happy for this unearthly hour wake up call!!

We, as makers of our lives, our destiny, think that we need to organize, think, plan everything. Actually we just need to be listening to ourself & everything will fall in plan. Now, this does need an abundance of unwavering faith which I must confess I have not maintained recently. I let doubting thoughts & feelings in. Like weeds they take roots so easily.

Awareness, as usual, is the key.

Happy for no good reason

While engaging our bodies in yogic postures, we are also engaging our minds - thoughts & feelings. Yoga is supposed to make one feel calm & peace, however it opens up our minds & so we c an sometimes experience dark emotions like anger or discomfort. The key is in acknowledging these feelings, without judging them as good or bad.

In his book on meditation, Happy for No Good Reason, Swami Shankarananda says, "A statement like ‘I am angry,' or ‘I am scared,' already has a great deal of truth-value. Often we do not know or will not admit how we feel. Instead, we allow negativity to become the fuel that spins a web of deluded thoughts. When we make an accurate statement like, ‘I am angry', or ‘I am scared,' it cuts through the illusion and brings us to the present. It is a reality check. Present feeling is always valid and puts us in touch with what is real, while thoughts can lead us away."

If you can't identify a specific emotion you can substitute a general statement, such as, "I feel emotional," or "I'm upset." By saying what your feeling is, you put the focus back on you rather than the emotion.

What happens when you put the focus on yourself in the present moment? You shift your awareness away from the mind, which might be rambling, critic this izing, commenting or fueling the emotion. By being present you are in your body doing yoga postures. As you focus internally on a complete state of being-physical as well as in the mind-you move into the awareness of your own creation. You are creating that moment for yourself.

And in this moment you have the freedom to choose - to be happy, content or continue experiencing the darker emotions. what ever you choose is right for you. But know that you have made a choice.

Kindness

Be generous. Give to those you love; give to those who love you, give to the fortunate, give to the unfortunate — yes, give especially to those you don’t want to give. You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you give, the more you will have!– W. Clement Stone

Wikipedia says that a random act of kindness is: “a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual… There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier.”

Try spontaneous acts of giving, it doesnt really matter who you give to & what u choose to share. Just give a genuine smile to a perfect stranger & see how it changes their as well as your day. So cheers!!

New Year , new oppurtunity

Its the beginning of a brand new year. Its our oppurtunity to start afresh - try new perspectives on everyday stuff , like try a vegetable which you've not included in your diet, a new lipstick shade, new haircut ....... any tiny bit of newness will inspire you to try more things. Perhaps, you could go for the marathon , maybe just to cheer!!